— A mother’s guide to helping her daughter plan her wedding on a budget
— I have helped two daughters plan their weddings. Very different weddings!
With the first daughter, we had six weeks to get it done! She got engaged at Thanksgiving, and was married three days after Christmas! It was a whirlwind! She was going to school in Boston at the time, a seven hour drive away, so I did much of the planning and preparing myself.
With my second daughter, we had almost two years to plan! She lived here in town, so we got together frequently to plan and prepare. She was involved almost every step of the way.
Preparing for any wedding can be daunting to say the least. Having experienced both extremes, I thought I would share with you what I have learned, to hopefully make your path a little easier.
SETTING A DATE FOR THE WEDDING
One of the first questions people will ask when they hear your daughter is engaged is, “When is the wedding going to be?”
Helping your daughter and her fiance choose a wedding date is one your first important tasks. There are several factors to consider.
1. Do they want a short engagement or long engagement?
Some couples have been dating a long time and are ready to get married quickly and have a simple wedding. Others are fine with a longer engagement and want more time to plan things. My first daughter wanted to get married between semesters. My second daughter and her fiance wanted a longer engagement and not to feel rushed.
2. Who do they want to be at the wedding?
If there are out-of-town relatives or some living abroad that you want to attend, you will need to check their calendars as well. We have a son living in Europe who was not able to attend my first daughter’s wedding, so it was important to my second daughter to choose a date that would work for him.
3. What time of year do they prefer for the wedding?
Many people have a favorite season that inspires them. For short engagements you may have little choice, but every season is beautiful. For my first daughter, the wedding was in December. My second daughter wanted one in late spring or early summer, before it got hot.
4. Where do they want to get married?
If they have a specific venue in mind, the wedding date may be determined by the availability of that particular venue. We rented a lodge at a park for both of our daughters’ weddings. Once we found the one we wanted (a different one for each daughter), the final date was determined by when the lodge was available within our desired time frame.
I recommend narrowing it down to a particular month, then a couple of weekends that will work for the couple, both sets of parents, and the important out-of-town guests. Once you have a date range in mind, start looking at venues. When the venue is officially booked, the date can be announced.
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Happy Wedding Planning!
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